honeystix07

for just a little while longer

2009-10-09T02:39:00.002+08:00

STARDUST.
i've been wanting to watch this for eons
and i finally have!
it is LOVEEEE!

it made sister and i go 'awww' and smile stupidly to ourselves
once the credits started rolling,
albeit the predictable storyline and the melodrama.

the effects of the media on young naive impressionable minds.
but right now let me revel in the beauty and fantasy,
cooped up in my little bubble,
for just a little while longer,
will you?

to be glad

2009-09-23T02:11:00.003+08:00

my blog has officially become neglected.
for two main reasons
one- i highly doubt the presence of avid readers any longer,
with everyone having so many things on their plates.
even i myself have taken blog-reading off my to-do list
two- the transition to university has brought forth so much change
that everything becomes blog-worthy
which essentially, ironically,
has reduced the value and blog-worthiness of events

and i have a sudden urge to type
so i turn to my poor neglected blog
(which apparently fulfills its sole purpose
because i suddenly don't feel like blogging anymore =X)
hahah.
schizophrenic.

thoughts from yesterday-
sometimes i end up dragging my feet there,
or rather, dragging my feet in my mind.
wondering why i would want to invest my time,
because the commitment seems so great.
yet when i sit there and watch
and see how much effort she takes to reproduce her multiplication table
i know that everything is worth it
and i know that each minute spent holds such meaning
and so i'm glad :)

somehow i think it's a chain reaction
yet it can all be merely an excuse
and perhaps i just need something else to attribute it all to.
but, disregarding the mesh of complexities and enigma,
something needs to be done,
and i don't know how much longer before the fraying string decides to give way
but i know it must not
for the sake of those who are important.
i guess this is what i've learnt from it all
and it shall be a reason to be glad :)

for now

2009-07-10T22:45:00.002+08:00

I CAN DRIVE!
i just passed my driving test on tuesday :D
now i just need to learn how to park without poles,
and try driving on the expressway with my mama :D

last week was obs.
it was a good experience though i was somewhat dreading it earlier.
made many new friends and it's nice to know i'll be seeing them around in school :)
had many once in a lifetime (hopefully so) experiences too.
trudged through knee-deep mud and had clothes turning to black,
braved the storm in the kayak when the waves were so high and no matter how hard you paddled the kayak wouldn't turn-
we almost thought we were going to die!
we survived though, all 67 of us :D
and may the friendships last.

it's surprising how so many things can change in a year.
and we'll just leave it at that,
for now.

the power of touch

2009-06-29T01:36:00.003+08:00

read this from shape magazine that my sis bought:

When life gets rocky, just hold on... to your partner. Couples who have more physical contact- cuddling, hugging, even hand-holding- lower their stress hormone levels, according to a study in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine. "Touching makes you feel calmer and more connected," says Jonathan Alpert, a US-based psychotherapist. Ask your mate to turn that caress into a massage and it will help your muscles and mind unwind.

-HUGS-
hahah.

time tells

2009-06-26T23:23:00.002+08:00

i just spent the past few minutes reading through my blog when i was in sec4 because i realised how extensive an archive i had. rather interesting, the way i blogged and the things that happened. and even some of which i don't remember anymore. ah, how i miss those days.

it's been a time of making friends. new people to meet at hall, new people to meet for my scholarship. and i've been trying hard to remember names! hahah. school's gonna start soon, and i don't know what to think.

i am desperate.
for shoes. currently i don't own any casual footwear (do you count slippers and converses?) because my last trusty pair of shoes just died. the sole came apart and the mouth opens.

and i feel like shopping
i want to buy a bag. i want to buy clothes too but nothing in stores seem to call out to me. and i want to buy random stuff like cross stitches and jigsaw puzzles =X hahah.

i went to do a manicure on tuesday and it's so super pretty. PROBLEM: i have obs next week =(

it's sad that it seems forgotten. time will tell.

random things

2009-06-21T00:08:00.004+08:00

random thing #one:
lately i've been using shampoo which says 'straight and silky'
.... =/
today i finally bought shampoo which says 'curls and wave bounce'
or something like that.
yay =)

random thing #two:
our bbq last week! =D
BEFORE

AFTER

but thank God thank God!
it didn't rain!
yay, God answers prayers =D
i was praying like crazyyyyy.
the clouds were rolling in,
a thunderstorm seemed immenent
and it looked like a perfect scene for a movie that was screening the end of the world.
and after around half an hour
POOF
the weather became pleasant.
THANK GOD :D

random thing #three:
CLEOPATRA IS CUTENESS!

LOVES <3

random thing #four:
KR HERE I COME =)

random thing #five:
today was FUNNESS!
=D

happening weeks

2009-06-12T00:37:00.008+08:00

happening weeks.

started off last week with a night at some farm resort in kranji,

cause my mama was being excited to show off nature's bounty in singapore.
the rooms were nice, though it was quite small.
the toilet was cool!
it was sorta open air, so you see plants while bathing.

anyway, so gotta spend some time with cousins alfina and sean

and gotta go visit the night safari.
a nice retreat from the bustle of city life.

thursday was pasirris park with kirstie.
we randomly decided to go cycling
(and suntanning against my wishes. haha
i'm only starting to peel today =X)

friday was the day i entered my last teen year
and spent with dear squaddies.
THANKS SO MUCH ALL <3
spent the afternoon with kirstie
then met up with the rest
took photos atop esplanade,
dinnered at popeyes.
and though we were so hungry,
we ordered 8pc chicken for nine people.
HAHA.
and everyone was shutting up and not protesting.
went to the singapore flyer!
and they sang me a birthday song at the very top

in front of a whole carriage of people.
went to f1 track afterward and looked like a bunch of emo kids
(i think it was for them to write my card. haha)
and and that's the day i brought cleopatra home!
(i've yet to take a picture of her cause she's so hyperactive!)
she's the hamster jiaen was promoting,
and i fell in love with it at erm second sight.
and i named her cleopatra because kirstie said i looked like cleopatra that day.
haha.
yups, thanks so much for spending the day with me.
LOVES MUCH :)

saturday!
a belated birthday celebration with churchies and smvs :D
met cheryl and dory at bk and they made me walk to jolynn's house
and do alot of unglam things.
like, singing happy birthday to 19 pillars :X
hahah.
but it was a great lunch at jolynn's
thanks especially to cheryltan,
who makes it seem like whatever i'm saying is recorded-
from what i like to eat,
to how it i like it cooked,
to my recent cravings,
and my cry for my spoilt umbrella.
the very intricacies touched my heart! :D
so, thanks to ALL who were there.
for a very memorable operation lunchbox.
LOVES <3

and smvs dinner!
and a present that i didn't know how to react to.
hahah.
after dinner we had 'donut cake'
nineteen candles poked into donuts.
was great spending time with them
dears who saw me through jc
thanks so much for everything.
i'll ermm try to use the present.
hahah.
LOVES TOO! :D

thanks to all who remembered,
to those to messaged,
thanks for all the gifts and words,
which made me look like a pregnant taitai lugging home all my bags
(though a pregnant taitai wouldn't be taking the mrt
and would be having a chaffeur)

just came back from malaysia yesterday.
it was a good camp/retreat.
much enjoyed and impacted.
and may it not end here (:

so that's my happening weeks.

i cannot believe it.
and you just don't know how much it all means to me.
but it's okay i guess,
for you never fail to disappoint.

distant worlds

2009-05-24T22:00:00.004+08:00

MY FAVOURITESTS OF ALL TIME-

YES i went for DISTANT WORLDS: MUSIC FROM FINAL FANTASY.
it was so so goood! <3

almost didn't get to go because the tickets were sold out in one day.
then my sister's friend heard that they were gonna have a matinee show
so my sis hurried to get the tickets.
YAYS.
and it was the most expensive seats-
so i paid like 67 dollars (student price :D)
(although i still think sitting anywhere for CONCERTS don't make much of a difference. hahah)
BUT BUT
i was sitting two metres away from nobuo!
yes the great nobuo was there.
and during the second encore (they knew we wouldn't be satisfied till we heard one-winged angel)
nobuo went to go join the choir and sing! :D
sads, didn't manage to get him to autograph
we wanted to get the artbook,
but it was sold out
(and it costs 40dollars)
so we decided not to get him to autograph in the end.
mann he's such a great composer!

ahhhh it was so good.
:D

update

2009-05-21T22:40:00.002+08:00

UPDATE ON MY not-so-interesting LIFE :D

i'll be going into nus science!
going to take life science as my major
and a few chem modules because moe wants me to.
my life for the next nine years is settled-
4 years (hopefully) in uni
1 year in nie
4 years bond.
yup i'm bonded to moe
cause they're paying for my education =)
hahah.

so,
i'll be joining my sister in hall (hopefully)
kent ridge!
and exciting days lie ahead, hopefully
:D

finally i've settled my admin
filling in forms after forms after forms
and photocopying and photocopying
and mailing and using lotsa stamps.
so now it's just my medical exam left
which i shall settle during my holiday next week :D

next week is my last week at work :(
and it's been eons since i've seen my dears from my home class.
oh some do make my blood boil though
but only when they're naughty.
they're really cute and lovable kids :D
(when they're not naughty)
i'll miss them!
hahah it'll be ultimate coolness if i happen to teach them again in future
-beams-

OUTING WITH SMVS YESTERDAY :D
yay.
full attendance!
dear mandy treated us for korean dinner :D
(BIG THANKS :D)
and we went to udders after that
and i ate a baileys flavoured icecream!
yums.

so lately i've been watching the show 'my girl'
but i still like my other showw! :D
-dreams-

welcome home

2009-05-11T21:06:00.002+08:00

under cheryl's influence,
i've had a five day fling!
had dates five days in a row
with someone super goodlooking, super romantic and super sweet
and who doesn't know me.
hahah.
it's my drama to be exact-

yay.
at it's mostly at times like that when reality hits you squarely in the face isn't it.
after indulging in another world for days
and ironically it makes reality seem more real than ever.
well, welcome home.
hahah.

today is a school holidayyy! =D
had a date with vinnie before my driving lesson.
ate lunch and had super good service at pizza hut
then walked around (supposedly finding shoes) and vinnie got her hair half curled and half straightened.
and actually, i think we spent almost the whole time walking. hahah.
yay we've had good exercise.
haha.

and now,
i just need to find something to look forward to.

new look

2009-04-28T21:40:00.002+08:00

"miss chia, what did you do to your hair?"
"oh, my hair exploded"
hahah.

pau has a new look!
she has finally decided to break the disulphide bonds in her hair.

please don't say it looks horrible
i paid a crap lot =(

anyway, i was bored on friday
and i wanted to do something after work
so i made my way down to go do my hair.
first they cut my hair abit,
and they brought me to a room and tried to coerce me to do scalp treatment
cause i was a young little girl dropping hair =/
anyways, thank God i'm poor, so i didn't
then they started on my hair
they put some funny thing on my head
and then they started putting something that smelled like veet
and wrapped my hair in aluminium foil for like 15minutes.
after washing, they started putting the curlers in my hair.
and each curler was attached to a wire
so there i was, looking like a madman with curlers and wires sticking out of my head =X
i was so tempted to take a picture.
hahah.
anyway after they took the curlers off, my hair was ULTRA short.
like till my chin?
then the person said
'okay, done'
and i wanted to die there and then.
so i reached up and wanted to pull a curl and went
'it's very curled eh'
then she said she was kidding.
hahahah.

so that's my not-so-interesting adventure to the hairdresser's.

random photos

2009-04-16T19:40:00.005+08:00

RANDOM PHOTOS

sooming's shirt.
soot's the orange dino, cera's the yellow rhino, kirstie's the yellow dino, quek's the bird, sam's the tree, tang's the ground, simin's not in, and i'm the mountain =X
hahah.

kirstie and i baked! =D

WINTER =D

those were the days...

christmas chillout at starbucks last year

we wanted to cut this out and give it to steph.

i painted this for the hydroponics sales in my school quite some time ago.
apparently it was supposed to be 'bayam'
oops. haha.

ntu open house!

colleagues at work =)

i was bored that day and went to play around with photofunia
alot of people thought the puzzle was real!

jiaen just gave me this yesterday!
it's so pretty, yay =D
she claims it was my sec4 birthday present. hmmm.

the stand

2009-04-12T18:27:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY QUEK!
=D

HAPPY EASTER!
and once again i'm brought back to that place of awe and gratitude =)

You stood before creation
Eternity in Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

pau is sunburnt =(
went to sentosa on friday to celebrate quek's birthday.
i put sunblock at first cause i wanted to stay nice and fair.
then i figured i look too sickly so i should get a bit tan.
so i put suntan!
and now i'm burnt. hahah.
volleyball-ed a while although i really didn't intend to.
tang and i wanted to sit under the shade
cause she didn't wanna get dark
and cause i'm so not a beach ball games person =X
but we got tempted in the end and so we decided to join.
it was quite fun though my arms hurt and became diseased after that.
haha.
and i think my ball phobia's getting less serious.
all because i'm a teacher in a primary school and i have to keep my cool (rhymes!) when a ball is flying towards me.
on thursday during cca i got hit by a rugby ball TWICE.
one whammed my face straight
and the other whammed my back.
poor pau and the ball must be opposite poles =(
anyway then we watched a nice show where someone got a ball stuck up the tree
and people trying to get it down.
(i sound almost sadistic)
but it was a good example of racial harmony mann. hahah.
after that we went to the southernmost point of asia continent
(though it's not really the southernmost point)
and squeezed on the bridge. hahah.
then we decided to head back cause the sky was darkening.

COOLNESS LA.
raph said that at three plus every good friday the sky will darken
and it really happened last year and this year!
huge huge thunderstorm some more.
bring an umbrella out! =D

pictures! =D

sam is happy in her holy circle.

quek and kirstie tries to infiltrate!

ohno! poor sam!

my diseased arms =(

the guy climbing the tree. coolness right.

i'm holding the ball with one hand! =D

shiny cera who desperately wants a tan.

kirstie and quek's tree dance.

house

2009-04-05T22:44:00.003+08:00

i doubt many people actually venture into this godforsaken territory anymore, nevertheless i shall blog =)

celebrated cheang's belated today. with about an hour of planning, we (tan & co) made her and dory journey around pasirris in search of clues! it was fun coming up with stupid clues and figuring out where to hide them. like, in holes of trees. haha. hope cheang had fun too!
HAPPY BELATED CHEANG!
HAPPT BIRTHDAY NG AND RACHSOH!
this the birthday season again. haha.

YESTERDAY
my mama bought a house
in WOODLANDS.
admiralty to be exact.
i didn't even know where that was.
but i went house hunting together with my uncle and mother.
after viewing about eight units, we decided on a house!
so my mum bought it =)
(sounds so simple like buying clothes)
and the whole idea of WOODLANDS was sinking in last night.
my my my...
i'm looking forward to doing up the house though.
it'll be funnn! i hope =D
and my room (hahah, i koped it so fast. shared with my sis la though) has a space outside the window for me to plant plants! i'll grow pretty flowers! :D
and my room looks out to a nice fountain too (okay, so do the living room and the other bedrooms),
so i get nice peaceful sounds of rushing water 24/7 (i think. i wonder if they turn it off)
well, that's the most you can get in singapore if you wanna live by the sea or lake or river.
unless you're crazy rich.
hahah.
i never knew there was so much to consider when buying a house.
like SO MUCH.
and it was interesting watching the agents trying to sell us the houses too.
we met like three agents,
and bought from the nice friendly one in the end :D
see, it pays to be friendly
i was just teaching p6 kids that day the qualities of a successful entrepreneur.
so, one must be friendly too! :D
WOAH and the way businessy people think...
poor to-be biology teacher pauline cannot understand =(
my future husband will (MUST) settle all the business stuff ;)
and i'll decide on the house!
HAHA kidding.
my mama said my vote was very important in choosing the house,
cause once i say it's okay my brother and sister will agree.
the agent called me the xiao3 lao3 ban3
:D
haha yay.

small kids are so cute!
although they cry quite alot.
helped out at sunday school today.
it was supposed to only be for like 5-10 minutes.
sister asked me to help with the name tags, so i did.
then i was asked to help with craftwork, so i did.
then sister asked me to help with worship, so i did.
thenn i decided to stay on for the rest of it and help out.
hahah.

i've been having hilarious dreams lately. but it's been entertaining ;)

why can't weekends be longer =(
nevermind, i shall look forward to the relatively longer break next week :D

our story's not finished

2009-03-29T22:04:00.003+08:00

finally after wasting so much time, i found a nice template =X
love the picture though-
no matter what there's a smile plastered on your face
we'll look at it in the optimistic sense okay =]

i should stop fretting.

into Your hands
i commit again
with all i am
for You Lord
You hold my world
in the palm of Your hand
and i am Yours
forever

isn't it heartening to know that
our story's not finished yet.

mine to make

2009-03-25T21:52:00.004+08:00

the song is still playing on my computer.
listened to it 41 times yesterday, and 10 times today so far
and that's not counting the number of times i heard it on my darling ipod in the staff lounge today while i was researching on edinburgh.
edinburgh edinburgh edinburgh.
i'll get sick of the song soon i think.
but it's such a HAPPY song :D

tomorrow i'm starting tuition!
i hope i'm not rusty.
vivian asked me an amaths qn on saturday and i spent 5min trying to figure out how to do it. and it was a standard amaths qn! :(
this shows how much your brain rots in 5 months.
i figured i kinda like studying.
i was looking through my emaths textbook yesterday and doing emaths qns in preparation for tuition.
and i wanna go read campbell before i go into uni.
yes call me crazy.

ambivalence once again.
typical- it's intimidating, yet exciting
well i think i'll end up staying in the end.
essentially, the decision is not mine to make though
maybe that's why it gets sianifying having to research and get all excited and scared and all those funny emotions, measuring the opportunity cost and trying to decide whether or not i'll go
when in the end
i don't decide.
and i don't know if it's better that i get the chance to decide
or not have it at all.
there's so much involved
but it's everyone's dream isn't it?

may passion sustain

2009-03-24T22:14:00.002+08:00

Lucky by Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

i've fallen in love with this song <3
haha.

it's been long since i've blogged a proper blog post.
it seems so ermm unnatural blogging now though.
maybe it's the impression that it doesn't make much difference blogging or not-
as though this blog has been hidden beneath a layer of dust

-blows the dust off-
-sneezes-
there, that's better.
at least i'm reading what i'm typing =)

anyways, a week of holiday has come and gone
teachers enjoy holidays too,
though a permanent teacher would have less of that than i do.
it's going to be my future though.
and slowly, day by day,
i'm embracing it.
the thought can be intimidating sometimes though,
but as time passes (HAHA cheryl!)
i know it's something that i will do
and that i want to do.
perhaps the passion is growing stronger.
and yes, it's fulfilling =)

the holidays have been a good break
yet it seems like it never happened-
because going back to school, walking along the corridors,
seeing the kids running and playing,
all seem so normal.
all seem so everyday-
as though a week had not passed at all.
and that is not a bad thing.
because although i somewhat dreaded the holidays ending
i do not dread going back to work.
i enjoy the sense of purpose.

busy weeks to come.
may passion sustain.

ME

2009-03-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

PERSONALITY TEST!
i love personality tests!
i think i did this one before though.
but here it is,
and i think it's quite true..

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
the result of being an istj. haha.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
yes i cannot agree with this more. i'm a sad hopeless romantic =X

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
hmmmmmmmm......

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
hmmmmmmmmm again. haha.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
yes. knowledge is power. and studying is FUN. somewhat. -attempts to psycho myself-

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
AFFIRMATIVE. miss chia couldn't agree any more.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
repeat, miss chia is going into teaching..

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
ACCEPT ME! hahah

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
my moods are like a sine curve. so try to catch me when it's the positive y-axis =)

HERE =)

bring me to the beach

2009-03-12T22:58:00.004+08:00

bring me to the beach. i'll sit on the breakwaters, by the beach. and perhaps the vastness and greatness of the ocean and the sky will make everything else that surround become mere shadows. i'll be staring out into the horizon, watching closely how that fine thin line separates the sky and the waters. maybe i'll hear the laughter of children, with shovels full of sand, building the castle of their dreams. maybe there'll be children in the sea too, swimming and enjoying the waves and the breeze. apart from their vibrancy and their wealth of youth, their innocence will captivate me.
the sun will set, and i will witness the beauty that we often fail to notice. there will be colours of purple, red, pink and orange splattered deliberately on a canvas sheet.
the sky will turn dark, and i will see the first twinkling of a star. and i will close my eyes.

holding back

2009-02-22T01:18:00.003+08:00

& it seems as though there's only one thing left that's holding me back. yet the question remains as to whether it's the greatest essential, or whether it's merely a whimsical figment with no absolute substance. both are legitimate; is one more legitimate than the other? yet we must not fail to recognise that they are but extremes of the continuum, and perhaps (and most probably so) the answer doesn't lie there. i wish there were other things to hold me back though.

when the river flows

2009-02-18T22:41:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder what to attribute it to- circumstances or pure inhenrence? maybe i've merely been scratching the surface, and maybe it's because i never dared to delve deep into it all. maybe it's only at times like this- but if so then seemingly everytime is a time like this. and maybe i'll just sit and watch everything go by; watch the story slowly unravel, like a reader with no power to change the rest of the text.

when the river flows, where do you go?

misses :(

2009-02-15T19:26:00.004+08:00

i'm missing school :(

i'm missing my friends :(

smvps (though i meet up with them the most :D)

(the photo lady saw this picture and went, 'wah, pai1 dian4 ying3 ah!')

twelfies (we SOOO need to have a meeting soon)

07s10

and b71a!

misses :(

dear blog

2009-02-07T23:42:00.003+08:00

it's been ages since i've blogged.
so it leaves me staring at this screen for a long while not knowing what to type.
speaking of blogging,
even my p3 kids (as in in my school/workplace) are learning to blog!
i sat in for one of the lessons cause i was taking over a teacher
how technology advances- now it has all become 'dear blog..'

i'm enjoying my work i think
although it drains my energy quite abit-
i make it a point to sleep before midnight and to reach home early
so that i don't end up having to drag myself to work.
i guess that's the difference between work and school;
you can drag yourself to school but you can't drag yourself to work.
you can be tired and sleep (ok a teacher so shouldn't be saying this, haha) during lessons, but you can't show yourself being tired while teaching a class
it doesn't really feel like work to me though
it just feels like i'm having a long holiday
and this is something to pass my time
which is good i suppose :)

GUESS WHAT-
apart from teaching pe (yes shocking)
I HAVE TAUGHT CHINESE!
hahaha
like ten periods of it in total already :)
aren't you all proud of me?
haha
i was mixing both languages though-
but but i knew how to read and speak and explain the 'difficult' words!
-pats my back-
haha.

lately i've been bitten alot by vile creatures-
MOSQUITOES
both at school and at home
i see huge ones flying around and i try to kill them
and i don't know why they can fly so fast though they're so FAT and full of my blood :(
so poor pau scratches and has many scars :(
STOP SCRATCHING :(

ta! till i blog again :)

advert

2009-01-18T22:32:00.002+08:00

woah this is the 333rd post.
and it's for vinnie's sake.
haha.

ADVERT:
her blogshop (together with wenhui)
http://twelveohsix.livejournal.com

potential

2009-01-13T21:44:00.002+08:00

work today was tiring cause the class i took was tiring
alot of interesting stories.
but despite the shouting and feeling like i was going to die (like literally, from high blood pressure and all)
it was an interesting learning experience.
half the kids were nice too
i got three stickers,
one paper crane,
two small drawings (one flower and one heart)
(the kids came up to me and asked what my favourite colour was
and drew the pictures on BLUE coloured paper! so cute. haha) and
one big drawing block drawing
(which is a SUPER good drawing).
yup, small little gestures that made me feel my presence and effort weren't all a waste

and my mindsets are continously being moulded each day-
the belief of untapped POTENTIAL within.
oh man, i'm starting to really sound like a teacher.
haha!

and and i have a lump on my back!
i think it's a pimple
which hurts :(
cheryl felt it and said it felt huge too.
and behind my ear is some long ermm skin
like swollen
and hurts too :(
pau has weird growths :X

& i'll just pray

miss chia

2009-01-11T20:51:00.004+08:00

that's just a random picture
cute soft toys that stephy mandy and i bought last year
my piglet is sitting at my desk staring at me.

lalala.

it's gonna be a new week of work
now i understand why teachers carry around those huge nalgene bottles
i fell sick a few days ago,
with a cough and a sore throat
from shouting and screaming at kids.
(and perhaps some germs from my coughing brother =X)
reminder: if you ever find yourself teaching pe,
bring along a whistle =)
haha
it's taught me quite a bit though
if only we all knew how much our teachers went through..
yup, it's a tiring job mothering 30+ kids
but it's very meaningful =)

smps outing on thursday
vinnie couldn't join us cause she was working
but you're still remembered!
we watched a show which was super disappointing =X
rachel getting married
and we aston-ed at cathay,
with steph refusing to step into grammophone.
haha.

went cycling with tan, cheang and dory after work and before ldrs mtg on friday
it was funn!
we should exercise more often =)
and tan dory and i discovered a nice place to eat
yay.

olevel results out tomorrow.
ALL THE BEST TO CHAI AND EUNICE
and anyone else receiving their results
cheers ;D

here's miss chia signing off
(i still can't get used to the title =X
haha)

blessed 2009

2009-01-06T19:01:00.005+08:00

this is late, but
BLESSED 2009! :D

blogging has lost its novelty in my eyes (not exactly novel)
been so lazy to blog because i just end up staring at the screen not knowing what to type =X

1. school has started
or work, rather
and it's been rather interesting
albeit tiring at times
formal lessons start tomorrow and i think i'm somewhat more excited for that =)
2. and i've decided to do something more meaningful in my free time-
giving free tuition
haha okay, only for my cell members la
3. i've found another game to play-
age of mythology
ok it's quite an old game, but it's still fun :D
4. december has been interesting-
alot of christmas parties
and the ABSOLUTE BEAUTY of student fare
as with everyone else, my heart aches when the beep sound changed tapping the ezlink card on the reader
it takes me a good $1.23 home from work
and $0.71 to tampines mrt (i should walk instead)
and $0.93 to church
and a crap lot to go to town =(
maybe i'll just upload random pictures taken in december

jolynn's birthday celebration

sacell christmas dinner

pkh's birthday celebration

miss wong's christmas party

5. january army people are going in soon
(ALL THE BEST and TAKE CARE!
though i doubt any of you will read this. haha.)
class dinner yesterday for army people farewell
pau was finally free to attend =)
ate at hardrock and koped nice liquor from yuwei!
i still like long island though i think i might die downing an entire cup myself
and this is so gonna sound wrong but the drink sex on the beach is nice
i told yuwei to point on the menu to the waiter to order it
cause it'll sound sooo wrong
haha =X

and that's quite alot for staring at the screen and not knowing what to type
till next time then
CHEERS :D

aussie

2008-12-20T23:01:00.003+08:00

hello i'm back from australia
(okay i've been back since monday)

and i've learnt that
three thousand miles and ten miles don't make much of a difference.

prom and all

2008-12-05T16:43:00.003+08:00

here's my newfound love

paid 199 for it
plus a few more dollars for the addons
my hard-saved money..
START SAVING AGAINN!

i kinda can't wait to earn money
i hope i get a good job :D

anddd
PROM!
pre-prom was kind of a mad rush here and there
rushed from stephy's to far east to do our nails
then back to stephy's to change into our dresses
and then to kallang to do our hair and makeup

and i spent so much on prom
dress- $148.70
shoes- ~$14 (yes i love this man. bought from KL! =D)
nails- $20 (for both hands and feet! i love my toenails though it looks evil. it's BLUE! =D)
bag- ~$15 (from KL too! =D)
hair and makeup- $45

TOTAL: $242.70
add in the random cab fares here and there
woahh heart pain =X

prom was mainly phototaking and food

and postprom for me was sitting there drinking my vodka
with chongping and yuwei and kenny
though yuwei and kenny did go explore abit
because i refused to hit the dance floor =X
back to stephy's after
being very zombiefied
and i left her house at six in the morning to go home cause i rmbed i had an interview later in the day =X

let the photos do the talking!

SAcell! minus joseph

our table! =D

SMVPS

crazily close! =D

my BLUE nails! =D

i'll be gone to australia tomorrow
for TEN days
I'LL MISS MY DEAR FRIENDSS! <3

happy birthday mandy!

2008-11-30T00:49:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MANDY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU!
-shouts and claps-
haha.

BIRTHDAY GIRL!
(it'll be diffcult guys, but
please try hard not to drool on your keyboard.
haha)

you've been a dear these two years
and through these two years
you've revealed your inner true self to us!
beneath your angelic innocent demeanor
MUAHAHAH
BUT
we still love mandy all the same!
and the 'we' refers to the hundreds of guys clamouring after her too
haha

thanks for being someone i can turn to for advice
or even to listen to me whine
for the conversations and times spent together
for the cute drawings on my lecture notes
(though you always fall asleep halfway during lecture
especially if you're sitting with me
haha)
and for being my first ever valentines day date!
(though i won't be able to date you anymore
lest i get hammered)

so may you have a great eighteenth
and have a happy happy birthday!
PAU LOVES YOU
and God bless! =D

ohman

2008-11-27T20:10:00.003+08:00

suddenly i'm in the 'ohmann' mood
but it's a nice word
you can use it when
you're happy
you're sad
you're touched
you're disappointed
you're exasperated
and the list goes on.

OHMANNN.

anyways
i'm back from malaysia
it was a good trip of fun and fellowship.
i came back with more clothes and accessories
and came back fatter
and a few hundred ringgit poorer

sometimes i think i'm too much an idealist
yet i know that ideals are all they'll ever be
sometimes i think i'm somewhat schizophrenic
haha.

post-alevels

2008-11-22T00:53:00.003+08:00

i close my eyes and i see shelves after shelves after shelves of prom dresses
it can almost be classified a nightmare
except that prom dresses are pretty
SMVS all look so pretty in their dresses!
be swept off your feet, people!

i've been busy busy busy lately since the end of alevels
shopping for prom stuff
and i'm going off to malaysia on sunday!
i havent even packed =X
(mental note: find a bag to bring
ohmann i ALWAYS have this problem)
and my day tomorrow is packed
(my day is packed but my bag is not packed?
ohmy i'm going cranky)
in fact
i shouldn't even be blogging

ohman
i feel faint again.

&what would you do in the name of love?

maybe

2008-11-18T14:43:00.004+08:00

it'll be over soon, in just two days
which got me thinking what's actually in store for me after alevels
maybe the moments right now are just a reflection of how post-alevels will be
maybe it won't be that much worth anticipating.
maybe i'm just afraid.

the end of alevels has been one of the sole things i was looking towards
one of the sole destinations i was running towards
in fact, i don't really see much further than that
the shock suddenly hit me a few days ago that yet another year has passed
that we'll be entering into 2009 in just a matter of days
that this year might leave me unmet resolutions

&maybe it'll just fade away

sugar coated candy

2008-11-17T17:48:00.000+08:00

ohmygoodness ohmygoodness ohmygoodness
SO SWEETSSSS!

food.

2008-11-17T17:08:00.002+08:00

FOOOD.
yesterday i went to eastcoast park to run
and EAT.
haha it was some restaurant/bar place
with super ex food =X

here's my atlantic salmon which costs like twenty dollars

and this is the dessert
apple and raisin flan or something like that
mannn, it was so good.
and it costs like what 14 dollars i think?
the plate was like fifteen cm long =X

and the drink!
it's so pretty
peach italian soda
and my sis and i believe it's just like, sprite and syrup =X
yes, for like five dollars
haha.
i fell in love with the stirrer
it's so pretty!

we all shout YAY
one more mcq paper left to the end of alevels
and smvps are going prom shopping!
excitingness!
we went to watch hsm3 today
it was so good!
ohman, the guy was so so sweet
haha.
and the sets and all were so professionally done
and the songs!!!
-starts singing-
-starts dreaming-
toodles!

321st

2008-11-14T22:18:00.003+08:00

this is the 321st post
three random things:

three-
my fan chaoda-ed this morning
like totally
i woke up this morning smelling burnt plastic
and my fan was off
so i turned it on again and went back to sleep
and after awhile it turned off
i got up and went out of my room
and realised the smell came from my room
so i went back to smell my fan
and realised the smell was from there
and there was a plastic bag hung around the fan
and part on the fan was like melting =X
haha.
so there goes my fan.

two-
my mama was driving along the expressway a few days ago
at 6.57am in the morning
and i was sitting there in the front seat
watching the cars totally ZOOM past outside
because there's a new erp at eunos which charges $2 after 7am
my mum passed the gantry at 6.59am
and a short distance later
traffic became slow
interesting how the lifestyles of singaporeans can be manipulated so easily

one-
i'm dropping so much hair
that if i don't clear the hair on my room floor every once in a while
you'd think my room was a salon

haha

love at first sight

2008-11-14T18:44:00.002+08:00

PAULINE CHIA!
what are you doing!
haha.
but don't you think this blog template is so nice?
i fell in love with it the moment i saw it
like, love at first sight.
but i like my old one too!
so i shall change it back when i feel bored of this one.

two more papers to go!
after monday is yayness =D
although my sister said bio mcqs shouldn't be underestimated
but.. it'll mark the end!
six more days
-waits not so patiently-

ant massacre

2008-11-13T16:35:00.004+08:00

today i conducted a HUGE ant massacre
i think the ants from my room migrated to the kitchen
now there aren't that many ants crawling across my notes anymore
(ok maybe i shouldn't count the ants before they come)
and anyway
i walked into the kitchen and saw ALOT ALOT of ants crowding around what seemed like remnants of my scrambled egg breakfast
they formed like a one cm radius around the bit of food
and there wasn't even alot of inter-ant space
(i'm like thinking of 'intergenic spaces' as i'm typing this.
haha)
and i went to grab like three pieces of tissue, folded it,
and whammed it onto the ants
and used my fist to wham the tissue.
and it was ALOT of ants dead
-shivers-
i now hope the ants don't go looking for revenge
for the horrible killings of their fellow comrades.
come on la, it's their fault for invading a place of erm, relaatively much human activity
haha.

they say usually the chairpersons of tkgrcy tend to have violent tendencies towards ants.
haha
like scotch-taping them
spraying impulse on them
ruler-ing them
oh and the list goes on
must be the stress.
haha.

waiting by the hour
and the hours seem to get interminably longer..
and maybe that's the decision made for you.

november kids

2008-11-13T15:59:00.004+08:00

WISHING YOU A HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH!
(although you probably won't be seeing this anytime soon)

though we don't really hang out in school often
but you've always been a real joy to be with everytime
you're such a bringer of joy and laughter to those around you
and a wonderful encourager too!
thanks for cheering me up when i'm sad,
for the many little things you do
which actually mean alot to me!
and i really enjoyed the days of ocip i had with you too!
i rmb the translators wondering whether we were together
HAHA.
you are loved stephh!
by pau! =D
may you have a great eighteenth!
God bless! =)

school toilet cubicles here we come!
(haha just kidding)

and i so totally love this picture man.
it looks like a handphone advert!
(which deters people from buying the handphone)
haha.

AND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CAROLINE TOO!
(though i don't know whether you'll see this. haha)
thanks for being such a fab leader!
may you grow to be as fab a doctor as you are a leader
and give me free consultations when i'm sick!
hahah!
and may you continue growing to be that woman after God's own heart
and being a blessing to those around you!
continue being demure and resolute
and we lovee youu!
God bless! =D

fly me to the moon

2008-11-12T22:23:00.001+08:00

AHHH
SOMEONE TAKE ME TO PARIS NOWWWW!
hahah.

fly me to the moon
and let me play among the stars
let me see what spring is like
on jupiter and mars

thick earlobes

2008-11-12T21:12:00.003+08:00

(i look weird =X)

mandy looks so cool here. haha.

converses!

we gave steph a surprise today
cause her birthday's tomorrow
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE STEPH!
we baked a cake and made a card for her!
and attempted to surprise her outside school after the paper
except that...
it was a rather failed attempt
cause we were too slow without dear stephy rushing us =(
and so when they reached we only stuck three candles in the cake
SORRY STEPH =(
but it was a nice time with smvs as usual
not counting the teasing
stephy's being naughty today.
hahaha.

and i suppose we'll all cut some slack now
since the 'worst is over'
haha.
three more papers and eight more days to go!
and three hours and forty five minutes more of papers.
oh how i am looking forward to the end of alevels.
which makes me wonder
what exactly i am looking forward to.
is it the end of studying,
the fun and the going crazy after exams,
the freedom..?
well,
i guess i'll cross the bridge when i come to it

arghhh
the pimples on my head can form a constellation mannn
disappear
disappear!!
ok pauline STOP touching them. haha

i have thick earlobes.

thirteen

2008-11-07T23:34:00.001+08:00

THIRTEEN!!! =D

happy birthday crazily close!

2008-11-06T20:17:00.005+08:00

HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY CHERYLTAN!

i've known you for one third of my life!
(woah sounds so long.
it's only been six years actually.
haha)
since we were AHEM young and innocent in sec one
till now where we have become young ladies
demure and resolute
and mature in our thinking
HAHA.
you've known me so long that you no longer laugh at my funny-ness =(
haha.
and now we have reached the not-so-big eighteen!
though you don't think eighteen's very special

throughout this one third of my life so far
you've been a great going home from school partner
going school partner (only one ninth of my life though. haha)
going home from church partner
going church from home partner (only sometimes though)
shopping partner
going out partner
talking partner
sms-ing partner
msn-ing partner
eating tofu partner
eating yoshi partner
eating subway partner
eating zha yu pian mi fen partner
eating zha jiao la mian partner
(we seem to be eating so much)
and ahh
basically alot of things partner
hahaha
thanks for always listening to me whine
and complain
and rant
and talk rubbish
thanks for being such a wonderful crazily close
and for everything you've been to me!
this six years wouldn't have been the same without you
and i'm really really thankful for you! =D

yup, so may we keep in touch till we grow white hair
(i shall TRYYY okay, haha =P)
and may you continue growing to be a great woman of faith
and of wisdom and character
and growing in God
LOVES YOUU CRAZILY CLOSE!
God bless! =D

"people say yihui and ivy dress similar
but you and cheryltan dress IDENTICAL"
hahahah

JOYS

2008-11-03T20:33:00.002+08:00

JOYS!
my computer is back!
i was hugging it hysterically after i got it back
and my sister says now i have something to hug since winter's gone back to hall.
so, many thanks to my sis for helping me send this to repair
YAY.
and my laptop seems cleaner than before too
and now i realised how tiny the words on the screen are =X

okay i shouldn't be blogging or using the computer.
i know it got spoiled for a reason
and i very well hope it won't spoil again because i'm not being a good girl
haha.

so,
ALL THE BEST FOR ALEVELS MY DEAR FRIENDS!
get excited mann
TWO down NINE to go =D

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"
Phil 4:6-7
&His love endures forever

after alevels

2008-11-02T00:51:00.002+08:00

after alevels,
i wanna go marina barrage!
cause my mama just said it opened today
i wanna go clarke quay!
and i've said this since so long ago, haha
i wanna go shopping!
cheryltan!!!!!
i wanna watch highschoolmusical!
caroline said it was very me
and she said i'm bound to enjoy it. haha
i wanna go ikea!
i wanna go watch sunset!

i wanna buy a ds!
i wanna buy a new phone!
(my earpiece died AGAIN)
i wanna buy an acoustic guitar!
and i wanna pray that an ipod touch falls from heaven.
haha
money money money, must be funny
in a rich man's world

happy birthday stephy

2008-11-02T00:03:00.001+08:00

STEPHY STEPHY!
i'm hijacking my sister's laptop for you!
so, sorry there's no pictures, haha.
anyway!
here's wishing you a happy happy eighteenth!
now you have joined me and vinnie in the 18 club
and we'll do naughty things together!
haha ok i'm just kidding

but anyways
i'm really thankful for having you in my class these two years
everytime you're not in school i feel so lost! haha
i've really enjoyed our fitness corner days
and just talking though the rest of the world is studying
you've been a joy to talk to
cause you're so SPONTANEOUS! hahahaha.
enjoyed our random outings together too
(yes SPONTANEITY again, haha =P)
thanks for being a listening ear too
for listening to my ramblings
and for giving your sound and rational yet understanding advice!

may you continue staying SPONTANEOUS
and funny
and pragmatic
hahaha
have a great eighteenth,
and all the best for alevels!
PAU LOVES YOUU! =)
God bless!

TWO

2008-11-01T22:55:00.002+08:00

TWO DAYS TO THE BIG ALEVELS!
all the best everyone! =D
i shall no longer grimace at the thought of impending doom (or at least try to)
becausee,
it's all in God's hands!
so i shall just try my best and erm, see what happens =)

i really really can't wait for it to all be over!
although it somewhat seems akin to persuing such a hedonistic lifestyle =X
ahh but whatever the case, i shall continue waiting in anticipation

joys!
my laptop is coming back on monday.
although i shall try my utmost not to use it till like, after econs paper
since i've gotten used to not using it already.
but i miss my dear lappy so!

yesterday i ate instant noodles for dinner.
it says:
Korean authentic pork soup taste haronized with elastic and good mouth-feeling noodles using high quality ingredients such as wheat flour vegetables spices and pork extract as main ingredients.
haha.

ta =)

introversion

2008-10-28T20:23:00.001+08:00

maybe that's why you were created introverted
maybe it's time to return to your hermit's shell
and be how you were originally designed to be..

the love of God

2008-10-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

this is such a beautiful song!

The Love of God
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

and i know something else i want to do after alevels! i want to make earrings! =D
and i realised and counted.
i only have like EIGHTEEN full free days after alevels till the 31st of december. i didn't know i'll be so busy =X =X =X
so, book me early if you want me! =P
(haha that sounds quite wrong)
but i'm still super looking forward to the end of alevels
it'll be over soon enough!
soon soon. yay.

OH! today during cell evelyn said she loves me!
a moment to be remembered. haha.

and i'll continue trusting in You
"whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men." colossians 3:23

&maybe

2008-10-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

&maybe it won't.

by not so popular demand

2008-10-23T20:10:00.004+08:00

BY ~~not so~~ POPULAR DEMAND,
i'll type a post!

my computer has really dieded (and pauline makes a mental note not to use such language in eleven days' time). my sister sent it to the service center and i have no idea when i'll get it back. well, it deters me from using the computer as often, at least.

and it's just four more weeks left. everyone's talking about it, although we really should be concentrating on studying for our alevels. but the thought of no longer having to slog away into the wee hours of the night, no longer having to rush through the endless stream of tutorials, no longer having to force your eyelids open during lectures, and the thought of freedom for the next few months.. isn't it enticing? perhaps we'll miss school life. perhaps we already do. so i hope we have cherished the days.

after the alevels, i plan to
GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS, play ps2, buy a ds, buy an acoustic guitar, learn how to play the guitar well, buy roller blades, learn driving, bake, cook, cycle, swim, work
go to malaysia with sa cell
go to australia with family (nicholas said we might be able to go surfing!)
perhaps i'll even start writing, or maybe learn sewing proper, learn dancing? perhaps do something to my hair. like curls or something. perhaps i'll refurnish the house! and perhaps if i feel hardworking i'll go read up different subjects to decide what to take in university! perhaps i'll watch shows. and maybe i'll find interest in the television again.
and the list goes on..

nicholas just said: you're going to take the most important examination of your school uniform wearing life! treasure it cause you'll never have to wear a uniform to another exam again!

JIAYOU my dear friends! =)

&maybe it'll all just go away soon enough.

eighteen

2008-10-16T18:11:00.002+08:00

my computer has dieded.
so i have hijacked my dad's computer to do what i need to do
and so you won't see me blogging anytime soon
or online, for that matter =(

eighteen
thirtyfive
(if there's nothing wrong with my counting)
i'm looking forward to it.
or maybe not.

happy birthday honeyest!

2008-10-12T00:02:00.002+08:00

and here's something dedicated to the birthday girl
THERESE VINNIE TAN!

HONEYEST!
you've joined me in the 18 club!
now we can buy alcohol and hang out late together
getting all drunk and red and high
and we can go casinos together too
and squander all our cash away
and we can start our own families!
i look forward to seeing baby goats =P
HAHA
i'm kidding.

hope you like the present we've got you
there's tears and sweat in there i bet
haha.
and remember to use it =P

my fellow unlimited smses partner!
yay it's been fun messaging you
and sometimes even when we're sitting next to each other
we say yay to unlimited smses, don't we
and thanks for being someone i can turn to when i'm sad
(and since you said i didn't tell you when i was sad that day
i shall tell you next time
muahaha so be prepared! haha!)
thanks for being such a great confidant
and thanks for listening and understanding =)
thanks also for always brightening up our lives
with your cheery and carefree disposition
and your rubbishness (in a good sense) as well
though you're ALWAYS ruining my reputation
HAHA
but,
I STILL LOVE YOUU!

so may you have a happy happy birthday!
and may you continue growing to be a woman of character
and a woman of faith
have a great eighteenth!
God bless! =)

(yay i saw this picture at your desk when i went to your house that day! haha!)

farewell

2008-10-10T23:09:00.006+08:00

beautiful day.
THREE's a nice number =)

joys,
my sister bought me a mouse
although i still do not believe my mouse is spoilt
but rather it's because a part of my mouse dropped out
and got swallowed in the black hole of my room floor
which is highly probable =X

was talking to stephy that day
i used to think it was sad that sometimes we feel the need to build walls
but now i've learnt
that it's important to build walls
walls that are strong
walls that will stand
walls that can defend
but what's more important is that we build good gates as well =)
and with a good guard too
"you j1 or j2? no! you're j1! you cannot leave school!"
haha.

yesterday was farewell assembly.
and i suppose when it comes to times like this
i recount my story on how i longed for greener pastures
how i rejected the tantalizing offer to fulfill what i had dreamt of
the slight tinge of regret surfacing at times
and how the words on the foyer of the school-
those that i see every morning on my way in
-finally struck a chord within

i guess i'll miss school.
university will be so different from these 12 years of education that we've had

and there are just so many memories contained in these two years
from orientation last year
to twelfies,
to s10,
to drama and the late nights of practices,
to the endless tests and near-hysteria,
to the friendships fostered,
to smvps,
just so many things!
and i'll miss walking the corridors of the school
i'll miss lining up at the track each morning
i'll miss the daily dosage of scripture
i'll miss walking in silence with cheryltan in the morning cause i'm so LAZY to talk
i'll miss sitting at the fitness corner with stephy
and mandy and vinnie too at times
i'll miss wondering what to eat and with stephy ever so easily influencing my decision
i'll miss spotting people during lectures
i'll miss doodling on people's notes
i'll miss messaging during class
i'll miss donning the school uniform
i'll miss.. so many things!
but let's not let it just end here
we'll continue weaving new memories
and cherish them as they come =)

science kids in B71A!

B71A

07S10

my fellow crazily close!

tkgs! moribus modestus.

and definitely not forgetting smvps =D

following farewell assembly and the mad rush for meeting teachers
we went to orchard and combed the streets for presents
and it was so so so tiring
with was so much planning involved
and so much collaboration needed
and so much uncertainties!
but seeing the look on vinnie's face when we turned up at her house to surprise her made it all worth it

and we went to celebrate chongping's and yongkuan's birthday too!
which was all part of the bigbig plan!
planning surprises are so fun
albeit tiring =X
but it's nice making people feel special! =)
so i hope you all all feel special! =D
and we watched a show at 9.20pm
so i turned a pumpkin by my mama's standards by the time i reached home

__________________________________________________________________

saint andrew's junior college

frustrating

2008-10-06T20:11:00.003+08:00

frustrating frustrating frustrating
for three reasons!

one.
my overheating computer makes me constantly worried that it'll BOOM anytime
so i need to periodically check it's temperature
like a worried mother with a child down with a fever

two.
I JUST DROPPED MY MOUSE
as in, computer mouse
it's been ages since i kept mice
(reminds me of that day when i saw a rat and went 'so cute!' haha =X)
anyway, so now my mouse is a little cock
BAHH
and it's a relatively new mouse for that matter =(

three.
STOP CRAWLING ALL OVER MY WORK!
3 + 6x = ant
writing my maths halfway and an ant crawls across the page
and what do you take my cup as, a swimming pool!?
i'm sick and tired of the ant infestation
i'll IMPULSE (i mean the body spray 'impulse') you till you dieeeee!

HAHA.
i'm rubbishy

day by day..

2008-10-06T14:56:00.004+08:00

~~IT'S FOUR WEEKS TO ALEVELS!~~
haha.
can't wait for alevels to end
can't wait for alevels to end

andd
my computer has been overheating lately
or at least i THINK it's overheating
the screen will suddenly POOF and go purplish/whitish/grayish
the first time it happened my first thought was that it was possessed =X
so now i'm putting my wallet under my laptop so that the heat can escape
and i'm blowing my fan at the laptop
my computer has such a good life doncha think
haha.

i think, i've overcome my phone phobia!
just talked to stephy for like two hours
and talked to mandy last night!
wheeee
feel free to call pau
haha =)

and i watched music and lyrics again yesterday
the melody's like what first attracts you to the person
you know, the physical attraction and all
but the lyrics- that's when you really get to know him/her

day by day..

HEARTS <3

2008-10-03T18:53:00.003+08:00

this is my 300th post.
it shall be special, simple, short and sweet.

i made a realisation yesterday
about the very last person i saw in year2007
and that's for me to know and you not to find out
haha.
HEARTS <3

love story

2008-09-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

i just discovered a nice song.

Love Story by Taylor Swift

CRISIS CORE!

2008-09-30T21:59:00.002+08:00

CRISIS CORE
CRISIS CORE
CRISIS CORE!
the ending was sooo good
though it was sad
and though i haven't played the game
YET.
quote my fellow gp classmates,
'can't believe this is coming from you man
you're like one of the girliest girls i know!'
and i give an incredulous look

good stuff

2008-09-28T18:18:00.002+08:00

i'm eating lactobacillus bulgaricus and streptococcus thermophilus now. HAHA. i've been having a craving for yoghurt for such a long timee! and yesterday my sister took it out of her bag like a magician pulling out a rabbit from his hat. haha =X yay it's GOOD STUFF (inside joke. haha)

bucket of tears

2008-09-25T17:00:00.010+08:00

the most trivial of matters
but perhaps underlying is something far greater
and although it proverbially takes two hands to clap
ultimately you know who is to blame at the end of the day
some things just never change
maybe we'll just bury it beneath once again
live in pretence
turn a deaf ear
grow skin so thick that it becomes insensitive to pain
and hope against all hope that it never chooses to resurface
unleashing all its fury once more

and for now,
i'll just try my best to contain the tears
please, don't make it worse..

pictures of darlings!

2008-09-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

pictures of darlings! =D

random musings

2008-09-21T23:31:00.003+08:00

humans are such enigmatic creatures.
on one hand, we can tell ourselves we're asking for too much
yet we get disappointed when it doesn't materialize?
on one hand, we tell ourselves it won't happen
yet we get disappointed and we realise that there actually was that glimmer of hope.

as much as you try to believe, sometimes mere words just aren't enough
it's as though you're hanging off a nonexistent rope

&that's why
on Christ the solid rock i stand

massive drama productions

2008-09-20T23:08:00.003+08:00

during lunch that day we were talking about massive drama productions
like, don't the actors get tired acting the same thing day after day?
yes..
i think it'll get tiring.

a plastered smile

2008-09-20T22:12:00.004+08:00

today was fun =)
thanks raphael for inviting us AND
wishing you a happy birthday! (in advance by one day)
(and happy birthday to dad too,
though i know you won't read this)
the rest played badminton tabletennis and pool
and i snooped around taking pictures
because a game of badminton would become a game of
'picking shuttlecocks'
we sang karaoke as well
and attempted to make all the guys sing at least once
and we sneaked (not really) a camera into the toilet

then we went to tampines mall
watched mamamia
i thought it was good
-starts singing-
oh and we tried a social experiment
my hypothesis proved correct
HAHA
and we dinnered at ajisen
and the rest went off
while mandy stephy and i arcaded awhile =)

<3 twelfies
especially darlings smvps! =)

just plaster a smile on your face...

the itch to type

2008-09-19T00:08:00.003+08:00

sitting here staring at this box blank with words to fill, and with my fingers itching to type away, i am suddenly at a loss for words. i doubt pauline has reached her nonexistent daily quota of words though, despite the apparent hysteria and unceasing flow of words just a few moments ago.

and that was just a highly random paragraph. as mentioned, my fingers are itching to type.

so here begins my quest of the attempt to remember happenings of late, and the recovery of my loss for words.

I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD FOR ALEVELS TO END.
i have a whole long list of games waiting for me. and kai and kenny are making the wait interminably long by constantly reminding me of crisis core. so i'll finish up final fantasy 7, hope that my sis allows me to play crisis core, perhaps play kingdom hearts 2, and of course dotaaa! sherman wants to challenge me one on one. GG =X HAHA.
but of course, pau's life won't just consist of games. her wonderful friends are more than welcome to date her and we'll have lots of FUNN =D
and definitely i'm going to start earning some cash, to fund my unfortunately insatiable appetite for shopping.
and i have lots of books waiting for me too. so hopefully the insatiable appetite for shopping turns to an insatiable appetite for knowledge. haha
oh and the list goes on and on and on
you'd think i have all the time in the world

ah but it's time to pull yourself back to reality.
in more ways than one.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

it's the small things

2008-09-16T00:00:00.003+08:00

and i'm learning once again to be thankful for the small things that come my way and to count my blessings. one thing i've noted and concluded about asian societies and the minimal giving out of compliments, is that we ourselves do not know how to receive them. modesty? the fear of expectations in future? yeah they're valid reasons, but sometimes it's still good to acknowledge sincere compliments, feel good about yourself, and be thankful for it =) and i'm thankful for my prelim results, though i know some might not think it's spectacular or anything. but i think it's an improvement, and i know this will serve as motivation for me to work harder! come on, chant with me: i will get my four As! HAHA.

and another thing i'm thankful for! today i was being sian waiting for my bus. and i just uttered a prayer and went, God i pray that a double deck 8 will come soon. didn't really mean it though, cause it's like something so minor. but when the bus came seconds later i was like, WOAH. and then i was happily smiling away =) and it's like, the second time it happened in recent days.

it's the small things too

remind me once again that some things needn't and can't be worked out with logic. i think.. i think too much sometimes.

and my primary verse for alevels:
"whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men." Colossians 3:23

into Your hands..

three taps

2008-09-15T00:26:00.000+08:00

this shall be for you
-taps three times-
=)

enchanted

2008-09-14T21:05:00.003+08:00

oh i'm on an enchanted (as in, the movie enchanted) craze now.

ever ever after

that's how you know

so close

and this was a related link, so i watched it as well and here it is. love this song:
Jesus take the wheel

post-prelims

2008-09-14T12:52:00.003+08:00

ok, this is rather slow, but.. PRELIMS ARE OVER! and we hear this somewhat lighthearted chrous across the cohort of saints. it'll be back to studying soon enough though. but of course, everyone loves breaks, and that's why pau is still screaming out to want to go out. but no one hears poor pau's screams =( (CHERYLTAN! our bugis date! haha) ah ohwell, my mama told me i should start planning my study schedule over this weekend, so that i 'won't work on adrenaline, and will be able to store information on long-term memory', quoting my mama. maybe i'll go do something productive ~~like pack my room~~.

went out with twelfies on friday after the bio paper. walked around orchard on our secret mission, and sat around and talked quite alot, in an attempt to kill time before gorging ourselves with foooood. and thenn, we went to sakae! ohmy! happiness! steph and i were eating plates after plates after plates of salmon sushi, and two plates of salmon sashimi each! -starts dreaming of salmon sashimi- okay, PHOTOS! =D

the birds are chirping
the sky's an azure blue
the trees are swaying
children laughing
everything's happy and gleeful
almost

to live is Christ

2008-09-07T00:45:00.005+08:00

I was reading this website, it's so good.

http://kevinpierpont.com/to-live-is-christ-philippians-121/

To Live is Christ and To Die is Gain- Philippians 1:21

Dwight Moody was traveling by boat on one of the Great Lakes when a really bad storm developed. The passengers cowered in fear starting an impromptu prayer meeting for deliverance, which Moody didn’t join. When asked why not he said, “I have a sister in Chicago and one in heaven and I don’t care which I see tonight.” (Patrick Doherty, sermoncentral.com)

How do you like that? What an attitude of contentment Moody had. I believe the reason Moody didn’t fear death was because he was prepared to die. He was prepared to die because he had trusted Christ as Savior and was living his life for Him.

We’ll be looking at Philippians 1:21 where Paul says,
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

How many of us could say with Paul today, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain?

If you were asked to complete this statement, “For me to live is ______________, and to die is _______________,” how would you complete it? Would you be able to with Paul For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain?

Or would you say something like,
“for to me to live is for me to be entertained, to die is to miss out on the fun.”
“for to me to live is all of the things I want, to die is to lose it all.”
“for to me to live is for me to be in the best of health, to die is to lose my life, what now?”

We read a verse like, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain, and nod our heads in agreement that we believe these words but the question is, are we really living our lives in such a way that we can honestly say with Paul, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain? Can we identify with Paul? I think we often can’t.

To Live is Christ

Let’s start by asking ourselves a few questions.

What is it that excites you? What stirs your heart with passion? What do you devote your time and energy to? How do you spend your time and money? What topic do you enjoy reading about the most?

Is Christ your life like He was Paul’s? Can you echo Paul’s words and truly say, “For to me, to live is Christ”? Or would you have to say something like,
“For to me, to live is money.”

Perhaps you’d say,
“For to me, to live is pleasure.”

Maybe some would say,
“For to me, to live is education.”

Others might say,
“For to me, to live is my career.”

Some might say,
“For to me, to live is just to make it through another day.”

Maybe you’d say, “For to me, to live is my family.” Maybe it’s your hobby. Maybe it’s your reputation.

Just what is it that drives you? What is it that consumes most of your time and energy? On what do you spend a lot of money? What do you talk about the most? How would others who know you well characterize you? What drives you? What motivates you? What gives your life meaning?

Paul had a single clear focus. His passion was Christ. He was consumed with Christ. He lived for Christ. He could say honestly, For to me to live is Christ. If Paul were alive today he could sing with sincerity these words from the familiar hymn,
Jesus is all the world to me, my life, my joy, my all.

I remember when my wife and I were first dating, I was in the Marine Corps at the time. Most of our communication was done through letter writing. I looked forward to the letters I received from her. I’d eagerly open them and read them and re-read them. Now if I had let them pile up and accumulate and never opened them, you’d wonder about my devotion to her.

Yet, isn’t that what we do with Christ? We have God’s Word—the Bible—God’s love letter to us but how much do we treasure it? Does your Bible sit around collecting dust on the shelf between your weekly trip to church? Do we let a day slip by without opening our Bible while we have time to read newspapers and magazines and novels or surf the internet? Would the amount of time we spend reading God’s Word reflect the words, For to me to live is Christ?

When we love someone and are devoted to them we’re going to take time to listen to what they have to say. If I ignore my child when he comes to tell me something he isn’t going to feel very loved. If I love him and want him to understand how much I love him, I’m going to listen attentively to what he has to say. Reading God’s Word is one way we show Christ how much we love Him and are devoted to Him.

And if we really love someone and care about them, we’re going to talk to them. If we’re constantly ignoring someone and never take the time to communicate our love for them, then how genuine is our love? If we say to live is Christ, it’s going to be reflected in the time we spend in prayer.

Paul could say, For to me to live is Christ because Christ was his passion. He had an intimacy with Christ and a devotion to Him that was clear and evident in Paul’s life. He wanted others to know his Savior like he did.

To Die is Gain

But sometimes I think we’re more like the little boy whose…

…pastor was speaking about heaven, about eternal bliss and the joys that are awaiting each person on "the other side." He paused for effect and asked, "How many of you here want to go to heaven?" All hands were raised except for an eight-year-old boy sitting in the front pew. The minister asked, "Don't you want to go to heaven, too, son?"

The boy replied, "Yes, but I thought you were making up a load to go right now."

Our lives are so wrapped up in other things instead of Christ, that we aren’t really that excited about heaven.

Erwin Lutzer said…
By all standards, death is the most dreaded event. Our society will pay any price to prolong life. Just one more month, or even another day. Perhaps our desire to postpone death reflects our dissatisfaction with God's ultimate purpose. Remember, his work isn't finished until we are glorified. Most of us would like to see God's work remain half finished. We're glad we are called and justified, but we're not too excited about being glorified.

Paul didn’t dread death. He was looking forward to being glorified—he was looking forward to being with Christ. He understood that to die is gain. He understood that to die meant to be with His Savior, the one He loved and adored and what a wonderful time that would be!
________________________________________________________________

yup, just copied some excerpts from the website, and shared some of it during cell today. and here is my beloved tkcell! =D

me

2008-09-05T23:08:00.003+08:00

ohmy, i was reading through my testimonials and comments on friendster (yes, such good time management), and here are some things worth mentioning. haha.

CHERYL
11/24/2003 10:39 am
pauline is obviously a pau.. that has a line to divide the pau into two ! so pau- lorhx.. okayokay. pau- is the crazy girl with a cute rabbit. that's whad she claims. she really very crazy. giggles so so so so much. hmm.even trili says so.. tsktsk. it's good to giggle and laugh and whatever lahs. it trains you.. helps you breathe easily. yes.. so.. ya. i THINK she loves to breathe la.think only. she's got much better things to do than breathing..which is bad.. tsktsk. okay. and.. she crap so much. and she's so strong okay. throw the pillow then zun zun hit her sister's cup and *blahplah!* the cup spill lor. simple as that. see how powderful her strength is ? haiyoo. okay. but she CAN be quite nice la. it depends.. haha. that's all bout
this crazy insane girl.
ohmy, sec one life. HAHA. how we've grown, i hope.. haha.

SAMANTHA
11/28/2003 9:06 pm
she luvs her rabit so much until end up eating rabbit food and then dunno isit bcos of that she look like a rabbit!!!! haha... but rabbit cute wad...
haha yes, i ate rabbit food before =X tasted erm, normal?! haha.

Tiffany
04/30/2004 8:53 pm
hahax.. pauline..she is very cute.. today.. when she saw the beanstalk that we did for art she sreamed.. in a rush i supposelooked so funny..
the beanstalk thing was really huge! and nice, haha.

SooMing
03/23/2004 6:25 pm
yoz...pau- this gal arhz...very nice de...very organised...hmmm..i remember the time i met her..it was a romantic morning, when we were still sec 1...wearing pe shirt n track pants, looking sho inoccently..but horh, in the end...sighz..heex..no comments..this gal's laughter super high pitch super giggly one..laugh non-stop one..super whiney oso...aiyo...but she super generous one, wah liauz...pple help her buy sumthing, tell them to keep change one..sighz..*shake head* know u very rich larz..huh? n hmmm..she very enthu towards rc one..everything plan ahead one..*winkwink* n this gal arhz...like rabbit until she look sho rabbity...very secretive one..everytime, sae 'u know sumthing, kz..nvm...nth' sighz...she arhz..everything oso know one larz...n hmm...yah...n dunt b sad bout fd comp, there's still nxt yr(if we ever get in)!!! we will jerk our arm until it cum loose! jiayoujiayoujiayou!!! kz..yah..overall, she's a real crapy, sweet n fun-loving gal..oh yah..generous oso..alwaes share food with us one..yumyum!!!
OHMY. our romantic morning. HAHA.

CHERYL
11/4/2004 5:29 pm
PAU, BE A GUAI AND GOOD RABBIT. :D
(and get into the same class as me! =p)
byebye im boredddd.
yes we got into the same class. so i'm a good rabbit?

qinghui
06/13/2006 12:46 pm
YO!! at least your profile dont' talk.. like.. this..
theres.. no.. dots.. haha.
see ya around (:
i used to... type with... alot of dots....... haha.

CHERYL
06/24/2005 12:09 am
HELLO :D
im bored lahhh
i think i miss school
like. turning around and talking to u.
haha. i feel so dumb.
but its like. stretching exercises?
turn turn turn! whee. haha =x
hope you get the results u desire!
up to u on how u wanna interpret it
haish im crapping
im tired..happy memorising!
hope you get FIRST :D
byebye
love,
cheryl
HAHA.

Jia En
04/27/2005 10:32 pm
This girl is always tinkin abt others b4 of herself & sumtimes i can't help but feel
like hittin her on her head 2 wake her up and shout 2 her " IT'S UR LIFE!!!" but i
noe tt she's truly a kind soul tt's why she's always concern abt other's feelin b4 of her own...but sumtime...i wished tt she could be selfish...jus for once...it would be enough...jus once tink abt urself b4 u consider our feelins cos do rmb tt we, as human, can be hurt and bein hurt once or twice will not kill us... so pau... try 2 be more considerate 4 ur own feelins...& rmb no matter wat conclusion u come 2 i'll always support u like how u hav support me throughout the whole of my sec.2 life...& rmb tt even if i do leave dun be sad cos u hav done ur best or rather we hav done our best so we shall hav no regrets...& jus believe & let the words in ur heart flow & u shall be on the right track as those r words tt HE wans u 2 say & believe in urself & nothin will go wrong...jia yo
i decided to add this cause it makes me SOUND so nice =)

JANICE
03/24/2005 8:51 am
HARASSED WOMAN.
wif the weird LAUGH.
also dunno hw to imitate..
too high liaos.
NICE WORKING WIF YAA AT THE
MUSICAL!
HARASSED WOMAN.
mah fella mime.
did you have fun at the synergiz
comference?
THEY ROCKS.
oh yaa.
detergent EGG.
hahas
so fun SUANING YOU.
lols.
HAVE FUN.
CYA ON SAT.HARASSED WOMAN
christmas musical o4! yes, i was supposed to be a harrassed woman in one scene. haha.

qian
01/9/2007 8:26 pm
Pauline is very funny. She's laughs a lot. Remember the pataya rice incident? Pauline couldn't bear to eat our food cos she would be ruining the lovely mayo face on the egg :3D
I SILL CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WE FINISHED OUR FOOD SLOWER THAN THOSE 3 GUYS. OMG. WE ARE SUPER SLOW EATERS!
HAHA.
okay i eat quite fast actually, but but we were busy laughing! haha.

Nicholas
08/16/2006 11:44 pm
Okay ding dong! I see you quite often already so i have to write about u.
Paul look very quiet
Paul seems very quiet
Paul sounds very quiet
Paul smells very quiet...
But Paul ISN'T quiet once you get to know her! Little squirt who runs around like a mouse and drags people into plentiful gossips and keeps them stuck there. tsk tsk, such a sticky person. I think her viscosity must be very high.
She's just like her sister, a super smart and hardworking girl who knows when its time to rest as well. A fine example of a lady in the making.
Cheerios!
Da Ge
-Nicholas
i'm quiet =)

brandon
04/1/2007 6:39 pm
The very smart and intelligent zao sia expert who enlightened me what a four legged chicken was =)
i'm so thankful...
let's all shout "CHICKEN!" when we see these four legged creatures again...
anyway your sick voice is so much better...
i'm sure everyone got used to it already...
shouldn't get well so soon haha... anyway it was your authentic voice which cheered up the class by making us laugh...
miss s12 badly...
long live s12! cheers! =)
TWELFIES! <3

Rachel
11/30/2007 10:15 pm
DORAEMON NO. 2!
i miss you reminding everyone to take their malaria pills/vitamins/medicine etc etc etc..
HAHA. i miss ocip! ):
take care girl! (:
love doraemon no. 1 :D
OCIP! <3

yup, some are just excerpts, some are the whole thing. if you managed to read till the end. haha.

going in cycles

2008-09-04T23:41:00.001+08:00

and going in circles makes people giddy.

photography

2008-09-03T20:09:00.005+08:00

and my camera's been stealing bits of attention too. i've been going around my house taking random photos. here are some of pauline's masterpieces =D

this is my sister's desk. and you can tell i got distracted from studying 'genetically modified organisms' (refer to notes at bottom of picture)

here's a flower! pretty pretty! blooming prettily at my desk. thanks caroline! =D

this is a fig that my mama bought at the farm that day. it's like the size of my fist? the preserved ones are so much tinier (and nicer to eat)

and this is a beetle car (whacks someone and shouts 'twist!') nicholas made for my sister, and a wire man. i took this picture because of the ants actually. but they were moving a little too fast, so it's just a small black blur there. maybe i should try taking the picture using a different mode next time, then i might be able to capture the ants! haha =X

and i took this at two in the morning. and it looks all bright! yay to night mode =D

took this this morning lying on my bed. it's my sister's desk.

and this, is the potential fire hazard at home. hmm.
and i took it lying on my bed and zooming in all the way. haha.

out my window. can't you feeeeel the coconut trees swaying in the breeze?

and erm.. camwhoring pau. haha.

and my old flame and new love! =D you can even tell what piano score it is. well ok, only if you zoom in. yay to ten point one megapixels. haha.

but boo because the size of one picture is like 3+ mb =X

haha, i bet cheryl's gloating away with pride that she hasn't fiddled with her camera yet =P ok, pauline the photographer shall now sign off and get to more erm, apparently pressing matters. haha.

back to business

2008-09-03T00:12:00.002+08:00

and both my guitar and piano have been receiving more attention from me again. i could almost feel the layer of dust beneath my fingers when i touched the keyboard, because it's been so long since i last played! or rather, attempted to play. and then there's my guitar- i remembered it lying in one corner in my brother's room and rescued it from boredom. ok, if i were my guitar, i wouldn't really consider it being rescued. haha. and so now i've been portioning a teeny bit too much of time on both. well, they say music is good for the soul, isn't it?

ok, stop slacking girl, it's
back to business.

my brother

2008-08-31T21:48:00.003+08:00

my brother is in europe now. and i was looking at the pictures he uploaded onto facebook. and oh man, i so want to go to europe. the colonial buildings, horse-drawn carriages, ballroom dresses- and it all seems to step out from a storybook. and there's a tinge of envy and awe that my brother gets the chance to be in that storybook now. but perhaps, i'll be there next year.

and i think my brother and his girlfriend look so cute together. he's more than a head taller than her! (yes, my brother is super tall) haha ok, but that's besides the point.
and i just get so happy when i see couples that are so happy together. it makes me smile. haha. but i think it's even more beautiful when you see couples with greying hair walking hand in hand- just shows you how their love withstood the test of time =)

a visit to the farm

2008-08-31T19:50:00.004+08:00

yayness, my mama just bought a hot black (as in, not 'hot' in the context of radiating heat) camera. and my fingers are itching to go fiddle around with it. the only deterrence being the fact that i need to charge the battery for eight whole hours! ohwell. my fingers shall be satisfied tomorrow IN BETWEEN (highlight, with extra emphasis) my studying. and guess what, cheryl tan has the same camera as me too! except that hers is red and mine is black. yes yes, you may start doing the handsign and go 'crazily close'. haha.

tomorrow shall mark the start of my intensive studying!
jiayou pauline! -cheers with pompoms-

and today i went to a farm with my mama and sister to eat. i shall let the pictures do the talking, and save the energy for my fingers for tomorrow's fiddling with the camera.

a huge caterpillar

MORE huge caterpillars. go count if you feel bored and want a break from studying for prelims. haha.

those are banannas anyway. and my sister, of course, looking shocked.

cute.

just erm, a random rare sight in singapore. haha.

and i'm so looking forward for alevels to end.
-dreams-

a love hymn

2008-08-28T21:15:00.005+08:00

i just went down to walk for like fifty minutes. it was a good walk though, despite the staring eyes and the cramps. and during my last few rounds i started singing christian songs! i dunno why, but the lyrics just came to my head, and so i sang. and for the first time in a while, i felt His presence again. as though telling me that despite everything, He's been there all the while. it was comforting. very. i went down alone but halfway through knew that there was Someone with me, and that He's been there all the while.
and i feel so much better now =)
i should go down for such walks more often. haha.

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
cover me with Your hand
and lead me in Your righteousness

and i look to You
and i wait on You

i'll sing to you Lord a hymn of love
for Your faithfulness to me
i'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
through it all

broken promises

2008-08-28T19:35:00.004+08:00

ah, thank God for the one and a half week break before the next bout of papers. except for the fact that this break seems to give me the mindset that i have a right to slack. haha, yes, i've gotten back to my old ways of typing, in like prose form, as i've told qh (and here's your long-awaited honorary mention on my blog, haha) yesterday. and maybe when i feel like it i'll go back to mandy's way of blogging (yes mandy, i have termed your literary way of blogging the 'mandy way'. be honoured! haha).

and yesterday after the two papers i went out with cheryltan for retail therapy! it was good =) except that my funds have depleted, and i have pressing things to buy! my slipper opens its mouth like a hippopotamus. any kind sponsors? haha ok i'm kidding.

ok i must be motivated to study!
ahhhhhh maybe tomorrow. haha =X

ah, the facade.
i knew that history was going to repeat itself. pauline, you promised yourself you wouldn't hurt yourself like that again. and so why, why have you broken your promise.

way back into love

2008-08-26T23:04:00.002+08:00

bio and maths papers tomorrow
and i'm watching music videos instead!

way back into love-

i'm sweet Fanny Adams
in more ways than one

hello prelims

2008-08-24T23:05:00.002+08:00

ah now i know why i lack the motivation
-seeks my motivation once again-
into Your hands

i don't like not coming to a conclusion
so i'll just draw up my own
it's not the time to think anyway
hello prelims

dismal weather

2008-08-24T14:44:00.004+08:00

and i await the orange blinking light
only to conclude it was nothing more than a futile wait

at times i get so afraid
remember the promise you made to yourself

it's a highly lackadaisical attitude i'm carrying into the prelims
i know i'm so gonna regret
yet i can't be bothered
for now

and i know and i know and i know
that certain notions ought to be dispelled
and put to death
for it is nothing more than mere concoctions of the mind
idealistic and unreal
this is not marked pessimism
but rather the jolt into reality
after being hammered repeatedly by just about anything.

sometimes silence can be deafening
sometimes it shouts out to you
sometimes the lack of an answer is an answer in itself

the head goes
throb throb

pau wants a hug again =(

random thoughts
don't think so deep
sometimes things are just on the surface

oh all this sounds so dismal
like the weather
and the rain peltering down
-looks out the window-

sings lalala

2008-08-17T10:37:00.003+08:00

ah it's been ages since i've blogged
no it's not because i've been slogging away at my desk
devouring my notes so that i can vomit them out during examinations
it's rather because i know that if i were to blog
it'll encapsulate the one thing on the minds of every j2-
the looming prelims
and i so don't wanna talk about that

and so i shan't.

so here are a few pictures to lighten everyone's mood
and to make up for the past two weeks i've not been blogging

this was taken on national day!
i've never seen anywhere so crowded
they were almost not moving

this was taken on national day too!
all decked out in (supposedly) red and white

here's a drawing raphael drew during maths lecture
switch the first and the last picture though
haha.

and this was taken yesterday!
during riverlife's 17th anniversary service
instead of watching the video
cheryl and i were looking at the projection of the light rays thingy
ain't it pretty =)
(but i can't really tell which way the picture is supposed to be.
hmm..)

lalala
-sings-
<3

everything i don't want

2008-07-31T15:30:00.005+08:00

my uninteresting and unexciting life-
ah ok pardon the apparent drone

SHOES!
i bought my new shoes last friday
i was desperate
so i didn't really look around much before deciding
my old pair of shoes had a slit like right across
as though someone detested poor little pau so much they went to cut her shoe =X
yeah so when the ground was wet my foot will become wet =X
and i didn't notice it until like last week
haha
so here are my shoes-

RAPTURE!
it was good
and and!
the last song they danced to was joyful joyful!
ohmy i almost went hysterical
(not the first thing i went hysterical about that night though -winks- haha)
i almost wanted to get up and like start dancing!
christmas musical 2004!
woah i started whacking cheryltan the moment that song played during rapture
haha
and i still remember the steps!
-beams-

MISS TAN'S BIRTHDAY!
was yesterday
and we hung up a bigbig banner for her
for like fifteen minutes only la
we're a nice understanding cell
haha
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MISS TAN!
(i know you read my blog. haha)
look at the nice pretty banner-

and on tuesday went to secret recipe to celebrate
but i didn't manage to satisfy my craving for the lamb stew
and i was going on and on about it all night
-pouts-
haha
oh! and
glenn and benedict were trying to guess my secondary school
they managed to guess cheryl's and was trying to guess mine
and they say i look like an ij girl
and they sounded super certain of it
haha and it was funny cause they already knew cheryl's school

MISS SIN'S BIRTHDAY!
is tomorrow
and we were celebrating during gp today
rachel and rachel started off by fighting over a polo sweet
and soon the whole class started WARR!
so we stood up and started shooting each other
and we started dying
and neha went: ohno! everyone's dying! we must end this war!
and shida went: i have a peace offering!
and he took out the cake
and we started singing happy birthday
so, we only had like 20 minutes of lesson cause we went down to eat the cake
haha.

AND OTHER RANDOM STUFF!
1. my class ap people are gonna call me pow wow wow from now on
haha.
2. i was so tempted to take a green slip today.
but i REALLY didn't feel well! haha.
but guai me stayed on =)
shida said i looked like i havent slept in a week
and sandra and brandon commented on my horrible eyebags too =X
3. yesterday while walking home my hip hurt like crap.
and usually it goes off in a while
but ytd it lasted for like, till i reached home =X
4. today the bus i was in got banged into by another bus behind
so my heart jumped
didn't know the cause of the bump till after awhile though
when i turned and saw another bus like RIGHT BEHIND
haha
so erm ya the bus got stalled awhile
but all is well
haha

the hopelessness and vanity of it all is just so stark and apparent
and.. maybe one day i'll get used to it?
i hate the fact there's only one road
fraught with everything i don't want
almost.
but thank you dear friends for being there
smvs + cheryltan
loves <3

pau craving

2008-07-27T20:18:00.002+08:00

i have been having a craving for pau since last week
and somewhere during the week i msged cheryl that
and she said she laughed to her phone
haha
it sounds quite wrong eh
ah but i've still got a craving
for the one with chicken and egg
and i just asked my mama to buy it!
so i'm going to satisfy my craving for pau soon
pau wants pau
haha.

<3

Your faithfulness

2008-07-21T23:41:00.003+08:00

can i still sing of Your faithfulness in the midst of everything?
the day seems to have seen a stream of problems coming my way
but i know i'll hold on to You
be my comfort, shield, fortress, and strength today
and always.

Your faithfulness
Never fails
Your faithfulness
Everyday You're the same

Unfailing love
Sets me free
Unfailing love
You lead me
With Your hand

And all i know
You're with Your arms around me
Your face is all that i see
Your love and grace
Pick me up and hold me
You alone are holy

For You alone are great in power
You alone are my strong tower
And i will lift my heart and soul
To worship You alone
For You alone are my desire
You have set my heart on fire
And i will lift my heart and soul
To worship You alone
Worship You alone

love that song.
to think someone could write those words on his deathbed
and i know
i'll still sing of Your faithfulness

facade

2008-07-20T23:46:00.002+08:00

pardon my rantings.

it's the epitome of ambivalence.
the choices are laid out so clearly
the contrast as stark as black and white
yet i cannot seem to make the choice
and why
why must i decide
again.

i have to be strong
yet i know all it'll ever be is a facade
maybe i'll pretend
i'll pretend everything's alright
and maybe ignorance will become bliss
maybe it'll slowly squirm its way in
and maybe the pretence will become ingrained
and etched within
and in the midst of the delusion
maybe i'll forget.

i don't see the silver lining behind the cloud.
do you?

i hate this.
(and mind you, i seldom use that word)

dou sa pau

2008-07-20T01:06:00.002+08:00

DOU SA PAU!
haha
i still remember once when amanda was telling us the order for us to pray
she pointed to charmaine and went 'dou'
to alyssa and went 'sa'
to me and suddenly =O
and the cell started laughing
'pau!'
hahahaha.

and
i don't like having to make decisions.

At the Cross by Hillsong
Oh Lord You’ve searched me,
You know my way;
Even when I fail You,
I know You love me.
Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season,
I know You love me;
I know You love me.

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There’s no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You go before me,
You shield my way,
Your hand upholds me;
I know You love me.

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades,
Falls from my eyes,
And You stand before me,
I know You love me;
I know You love me.

live, love, laugh

2008-07-17T20:27:00.002+08:00

my blog has been neglected for a week!
so pau is back by popular demand =P

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA! =D
and
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RONALD!

hahahaa.
yesterday went to celebrate ronald's birthday
and before that cheryl and i were at parkway
AND
we saw samantha! hahah
anyway then during the celebration
ronald made my day!
haha!
he said he remembers that in p6
mr soong was singing praises about my compre
and he read it out with lots of emotion to the whole class
it was about a me being poor and meeting some rich person or something
and there was this line
'i looked down at my torn and tattered clothes'
and ronald said that was the moment he thought my english was good
HAHAA
and the thing is,
i don't remember a thing of it!
ah if only people can continue singing praises about my command of english now =(
i have a thing for people with a flair for the language
haha.

something funny that happened today-
the class was going to botak and were talking about it during break
and someone asked what they were talking about
and raphael went
'they getting a haircut. going botak'
HAHAHAHA
and then just now he msged about it
and i went 'so you all all got a haircut'
and he said 'no. we chose the food-only package'
OHMY. DIES LAUGHING.
hahahah.

they say
laughter's the best medicine
so let's live, love, laugh
=)

how do i know

2008-07-09T22:57:00.003+08:00

being alone brings my mind to random places
and doesn't it just give you an urge to string words together?
so here's the result of my boredom
(ohmy, i so should spend my time doing more productive things =X)

how do i know you're not just like.. one of them?
perhaps i've been too sheltered
(or too ignorant, rather)
to entertain the notion that bad guys and villains only exist in movies and storybooks
when in actuality
monsters are lurking in every corner,
beasts haunt and plague every land
when reality shouts of evil masquerading amongst commoners,
vile and scourge a familiar theme
and how do i know.. i'm not one of them?

ohmy, how pessimistic i sound!
haha!

to all my fellow friends out there suffering similar plight,
come on it's only a few months more
and let's just make the most of it
because there's no point worrying and getting stressed up over it all
and not doing anything about it
and having to look back in regret in a matter of months
you'll be alright in the end
i believe in you all!
(oh and remind me to look back at this when i get stressed too, haha)

claim romans 8:28!
and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose
FAITH =)

i've got newfound motivation
thanks to mdm leong and the half mark for maths
and thanks to my doing badly for chem
and once again, the reason why i'm doing all this for
as cheryl reminded me ytd =)
haha.

and i'm so afraid.
i need to stand strong
without compromise
it's scary, but
you're right.

nubian gents

2008-07-07T14:09:00.002+08:00

check this out manzzzz!
ok it's last year's promo video
but still,
same people
same talent
same passion-
nubian gents =)
enjoy!

pau
is
so
lazy
to
blog
=X

pray

2008-07-04T23:07:00.002+08:00

Pray by True Vibe
Thinking through
What to do
You're searching every angle and point of view
Good advice, well rehearsed
Only seems to make matters worse
When you're at a dead end
Where do you go?
My friend, there's an answer I know

Pray, when the road is steep
Pray, when your hope gets weak
Know the Father hears through
The silence and the tears you
Pray, when you don't know how
Pray, heaven's waiting now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray

The deepest sighs
Of the heart
Sometimes it's a struggle when we first start
To wrap our needs up in words
And trust that somehow we will be heard
Draw near, and know you are loved
God hears, and his heart is touched

Pray for the strength you're needin'
To go on believin'
No matter what you face
You'll have the wisdom and the grace to pray

collection of thoughts

2008-07-01T00:17:00.005+08:00

oh let's hear the chorus of
'EXAMS ARE OVERR!'
after slaving away,
forcefully stuffing notes into your brain,
going hysterical periodically,
it is finally the end
oh but only the end of this season
soon the cycle will start again.
but we shan't let that ugly thought disturb our celebrations
and rest (sabbath! =))
right?
-hears chorus of 'YESSS'-
good.

this is a censored conversation
only for females
oh and people who just want to be kaypo =P
HAHA.
on saturday i was sitting next to chai
and she was telling me abt the erm monthly thing
so i told her i skipped for like two months
and i added 'maybe i'm pregnant!'
and then when i went home
poof!
and so i msged chai and she went
'you should have said that two months ago! then you would have gotten your thing already!'
haha.

TWELFIE OUTING!
SENTOSA!
WEDNESDAY!
let's not stop creating memories together
(memories are such wonderful things arent they
-gives accusing stare at SOMEONE-
HAHA)
=D

SMVPS OUTING!
tomorrow!

and!
pau wants to bake
maybe she'll bake tomorrow =)

collection of thoughts
don't understand it,
you might not.
haha.

thought one:
i don't want to hear it.
i refuse to hear it.
i cover my ears
convulse on the floor
and will myself to block out all sound
but it remains audible
for it echoes instead from within
each word and each stance mirroring the truth
or so perceived

thought two:
at times it comes as a nightmare
eager to devour its victim
although i know that clearly it is not a mere figment of the imagination
or as simple as a dream

but i shan't forget the other 'at times' when it makes its entrance on a brighter note as well

thought three:
as though it's displayed on a silver platter
enticing, alluring and seducing its prey
sitting there innocuous, sugar-coated;
such a sight tempting to behold,
a notion perceived worthy to contemplate.
but be warned to remain at arm's length,
flee from the reach of its deceiving treacherous grasp
for the sweetness is short-lived,
the blessings attenuated.

i don't want to go

2008-06-28T02:04:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEANNIE YANG!
my rocking partner
haribo partner
maths prelim papers doing partner
maddo/pasture/plain/savanna partner
squatter settlement partner
conking partner
SOCCER partner
(NO I MUST NOT WATCH FINALS
jeannie you cannot influence me to watch!)
loved sitting with you and the cupboard during sec4 man
thanks for all your motivation!
misses muches! <3

celebrated jeannie's birthday today
(ok last night rather)
and we made so much noise in macs
but it was such good laughter
so hearty, so carefree, so joyous
and we just stayed and talked till like ten plus
and while walking back to the mrt,
we stopped like in the middle of the pavement
and continued talking!
that's squadmates for you!
haha.

oh!
and happy belated birthday brandon!
and happy birthday goat!
HAHA =)

yeahh i wasn't supposed to blog till after exams
haha.

I don't want to go somewhere
If I know that You're not there,
'Cause I know that me without You is a lie.
And I don't want to walk that road,
Be a million miles from home,
Cause my heart needs to be where You are.
So I don't want to go.

exams part one

2008-06-26T20:17:00.004+08:00

and the bulk of examinations are over!
pauline beams gleefully and mildly hysterically
(and tries not to think of the viscious cycle of examinations)
(ohmy, how that reminds me of krebs cycle and calvin cycle,
HAHA) =)
so now it's just chemistry and maths on monday!
except that i know zilch on stats
well, i've two days to study!
and one day of sabbath =)

i had a good sleep today after the paper!
one of the few times insomnia doesn't haunt me
and the feeling of the bulk of examinations over
the two killer days in a row that ultimately saw the conquer of bcme students
(and by that i mean survival, haha)
so we'll go lalala now
and study hard for the remaining two papers
and ENJOY after blocktests are over!
-looks forward to after blocktest celebrations-
(well, before studying hard for what, pre-prelims? BAH)
-continues living in denial and ignorance-
pau wants to cut her hair.
pau wants to BAKE!
haha.

and the excerpt that quek showed me from her literature text continually plays in my mind
although i don't remember it word for word
but i've captured the essence of it
as each word jumped out at me when i read it
but i suppose such is frivolous as well
albeit certain notions elucidated
so ultimately where does my allegiance lie?
ahh, frivolity

i've developed a liking for english songs once again!
what a time to do so
they say you shouldnt listen to music with words while you study
cause the words go into your head instead
ohwell!

and my piano is no longer dusty
(ok i think it is, but you get my meaning)
although it's still horribly out of tune
and one thing good about exam periods is that my piano no longer gets neglected =X

okayy!
till the end of exams then.

qingtian

2008-06-21T23:36:00.004+08:00

^
quek and my study supply
(and i have even more food now, haha)
quek's been joining me at the cc to study!
and yesterday after studying at the cc
we went to the playground near my house and talked
and talked and talked
till like eleven plus
reminds me of breakwaters!
i'm glad someone understands.
and it's the epitome of enigma
haha.

just before you fall asleep?

oh and i've been having bad insomia lately
again
toss and turn in bed for like two hours
and toss and turn some more
but i've taken to climbing up to my sister's bed to sleep
in hopes of curing my insomnia
works A LITTLE
=X

this is mad.
i bathe in seven minutes
and i'm a girl.
HAHA.

i must BELIEVE in my maths
like how my p6 teacher believed in me

and.
i must TRUST too
six days of work for seven

qingtian?

nostalgia

2008-06-18T01:35:00.002+08:00

pictures as promised
(wait, did i promise?)

Her notes spewed across the table, her biology notes are in her hand, she reads about the Ras protein and mutations and- oh you know, biology stuff. But she doesn't. Her eyes are on the page, but her mind is somewhere else in time. Is it the boredom of long periods of studying and the overwhelming information itself, or is it the mere nostalgia the place evokes? She doesn't know. She allows herself to remain in that half blissful, half crestfallen state of mind, before shifting uncomfortably in her seat and letting reality speak once again

how six songs collide

2008-06-16T20:45:00.003+08:00

COOL SONG!

How Six Songs Collide by Norweigian Recycling

i think the individual songs are nice too
Jason Mraz- I'm Yours
Howie Day- Collide
Five for Fighting- Superman
Angela Ammons- Always Getting Over You
Boyzone- All That I Need
Three Doors Down- Here Without You
x)

happenings of late

2008-06-16T19:54:00.003+08:00

from cherylng's blog:

"service and cell today (: hahaha omg after cell went to the arcade with pauline, dory, evelyn, vivian and played DDR! :D OMG PAULINE IS SUPER PRO!! she totally trashed me. hahaha she can dance backwards. yeah like super pro and i was stoning there. she gathered such a huge audience okay so embarassing with my terrible dancing haha. dory looks so serious when she dances, and screams super loudly when she fails. sorry dory anyhow press enter at this super hard song, next time when i have money i'll treat you okay :D evelyn was hilarious as usual, almost falling off the machine and stuff. lol and she steps as if she's trying to squash the machine beneath her feet LOL."

wahahaha i shan't let my ego inflate =P
thanks for the compliment anyway
haha
ddr is good exercise
i should dance more often since i'm so lazy to go run
(ahh what happened to my liking for running! =(
high activation energy =X)
just one small problem
my favourite ddr cd is spoilt!
=(

yesterday went out with my sister's friends
cause they wanted to celebrate layqueen's and my birthday
went to watch kungfu panda
and for my sister's reputation, i shan't post the picture although it's so funny
anyway the show wasn't as bad as i expected
although i think the thought of talking animals in cartoons
seemed quite kiddy at first =X
but it was funny
and isn't it good to be childlike again
come on, let's not grow old so quickly
i'm only eighteen =)
and lemuel said i was childish
but i managed to shoot back all his comments!
how childish eh, haha
but it was funny!

anyway then we went to dempsey hill for dinner
woah it's so highclass can
outdoor dining, candles, wine
and alot of westerners!
haha.
(sorry no pictures now, they're with lemuel)

spent today studying at the cc cause mama doesn't want me going out =(
but!
quek joined me too! =)
i waited for her like 1h at the busstop
and!
there was this guy talking to me
so scary la
"what school you from?"
"today never go school?"
"what's your name?"
"oh i know that -points to notes in my hand-"
-points to random parts of my notes which i think actually seems alien to him and smiles-
"what song you hearing? i want to listen"
"what bus you taking?"
"your nail so long -tries to touch my fingernail-"
woahhh then after awhile finally quek called!
so i got up and went to meet her
and he followed!
but quek and i were walking fast
haha
so that's the end of the scary story
i hope he never chances upon this blog
haha =X

so i foresee piles of notes in front of me for the next few days
jiayou to all my dear friends =)
we're all in this together!
-starts singing the song-

refreshed

2008-06-13T23:29:00.006+08:00

now that i've got pictures i shall blog
thanks to cheryltan =)

to summarise,
leaders' camp was refreshing
loved being about to just leave everything in Singapore
cross the causeway
seeking for a refreshing touch
and i'd say there was no disappointment;
i was refreshed!
=)

camp!:

tkcell and area 2.2!:

and here's jason and sherman trying to squeeze into my pullover
because we wanted to take an sa photo and they weren't wearing sa shirts
HAHA!
i think my pullover stretched.
both their heads are in the head hole la.
hahaha.

and the day after camp i went to watch narnia!
with the narnia gang
quek tang kirstie and me!
and sam joined the narnia gang too! haha.
woah i think i learnt so much
and suddenly i think caspian's quite a nice name
haha!

everyone misses school.
except me
i'd rather the freedom of the holidays
without anyone structuring my time
and the ability to do anything i want to whenever i want to
(well of course not totally without constraint)
but i'd rather decide when i want to study
and when i want to play
than have someone else decide it for me
woah i sound so rebellious
HAHA.

let's go out next week!
lets =)

i've a craving for cookies
and salmon sashimi

TRUST.